how I dated my crush for 94 days

My name is Ace...

Psssst! at least it's the sweetest name he ever called me

This is my story

A story of how I dated my crush for 94 days

I was 17 when I first saw him. He was into politics and was vying for campus president

He’s not exactly the tallest guy, but he’s tall enough for me

He was in a suit, black maybe? The accentuation of it- watch, shoes, his cologne? I can’t remember, apart from his smile. He smiled, Just a little smile. A smile that lit his eyes, causing them to crinkle at the corners. In that moment, he was everything I would ever need.LOL.in the next, he was gone

What can I say? I’m a mental girl in a visual world. Or

something like that.

He became my fantasy since then.

Infact... something inside kept telling me to be patient, that he'd be mine someday.

I waited and secretly wished he'd notice me. Too bad we only shared one semester. I only got to see him 3 months in a year!!

I'd see him with some girl from my class during our campus events, got my heart broken and cried a few times.

In my third year, I decided to take the initiative to get his phone number but being the naive country girl, I didn't know how to start a conversation with him. Instead, I asked for notes from him....I know! I'm pathetic.....but...I just wanted to talk to my crush!

I would follow him to his private studies and pretend to read like for looong hours...but he'd just say hi and do his business-reading

I took interest in sports for him (I’m not into anything sportish btw) that's what crushes do to us...right?

We would chat, at times. Every time we texted or talked, I got the feels #wink. But my crush was not into it. Though at times he'd give me like a whole night....we talk but he'd end up lying about how he has a kid with some mamaa....bla bla. I didn't give up though

So one day, at night as I was going to say hi to a friend of mine in a different hostel.....on my way I saw my crush with another girl from my class. He was holding her hands, maybe kissing her, I don't know.  I must admit I was hurt. I actually went back to my room and cried. It was the last time I allowed myself to get heartbroken by him...but how could I be like this yet he was never mine, you never loose what you never had, you know

So I gave up on him. Too bad he was in his final year, cleared school and left- for good.

So, in December 2015, just an ordinary Christmas.....Santa decides I'm getting a call from my crush

I'd moved on. LOL

But I was glad he called me....from then we used to talk almost every night but it came a time he stopped,  maybe because I was always busy with my family and didn't give him as much time as he wanted....maybe

So....January came

I was back in school...no calls from Mr. Crushie. He just went silent

But because I had moved on and swore never to be heartbroken by him again....I also muted

So....after valentine’s, the spark was back, I guess, on his side

I had moved on.....or I thought I had

He used to call me every night for loooooooong hours. It was fun

But after some time I started to feel like he was bothering me too much. So I started ignoring him

So on Thursday, 24th March, 2016- he invited me on a date!! I know, right??

As usual...I was excited (who wouldn't be!!?)

I showed up 30 minutes to an hour late though...he was mad but...I think he was glad I showed up

So.....that night was epic

It's one of my favorites, though I didn't get to dance with him

I agreed to be his girl.....and finally my dream came true!!

Now the countdown began.....day 1

My friends were finally happy for me because after 4 years of singing about this guy....I finally won him (yaay me!)

On our first sleepover, choosing something to sleep in, what inner clothes to carry....i didn't know whether to carry books (he reads/used to read a lot)

You know all the feelings that come with first times

Finally I was set....we met in town for dinner then headed "home" his house

In case you are wondering, we didn't have sex. I decided to stick to the 90 day rule (which i dint keep later by the way) with this one....he felt slippery, to me

Our relationship or should I call it "situationship" was just okay till one day, during my regular appointments with my doctor, he  told me I was developing cells suspicious for cancer . Suspicious or not.....I freaked out! In that same week, I found out my dad was HIV positive and realized I have a step sister and a brother almost my age. And in that same week, my boyfriend/crush was moving out into a bigger house with his friends.

That was my worst week ever!! , I really needed to let out all this stress but I couldn't bug my boyfriend.

I kept it all to myself...things were getting interesting and I didn't want to lose him because of my boring issues and problems.

So, that weekend he broke up with me...claiming he couldn't love me as much as I loved him

Just like that!! From the blues!

I tried crying but I couldn't. My life had so much baggage then.

So I delivered his stuff to him through his friends. Though I always felt his friends had something to do with the breakup

That was day 94 by the way!

As usual....exes talk, sometimes

But I'd only call him when something good happened in my life and he'd sound happy for me

So, one evening I wanted to see him and decided to call and inform him that I was coming over....I think he thought it was a sleepover

We had piled up issues and so much tension from the breakup. I had never seen him that petty and angry at the same time

He literally sent me out of his house at 2am in the morning.....I had never been that embarrassed by any man in my life.

Remember he lives with his friends, what picture was that?

The next time I saw him, 13th July, 2016, we had made up and decided to become “lovers" again. LOL. I conceived-. What did I expect anyway!

I didn't bug him with my problems though...

I kept it to myself and wanted to just go silent on him and make him get used to living without me.

I registered for prenatal care that early because my blood count kept dropping, I already started experiencing severe morning sickness, I'd pass out in  public places, get tired so fast, feel weak all the time, crave oranges at weird hours of the night....

I have been raped three times. First time I was 10, now I have abnormal cells growing in me suspected for cancer, a hemophiliac and pregnant!! Could my life get any worse?

YES, it got worse

I lost my pregnancy at 14 weeks.

Did I mention that I finally told him that I was pregnant? Yes, I told him, through text message though

I had not seen him all this while, so when we met in town, finally I wanted to tell him i had lost our baby,(or should this be my baby) but I couldn't, how could I?, after our date he texted me how happy he was that I was going to be the mother of his baby.....

I couldn't let him know I lost it because it would complicate things and make me go down the story of my life that I never wanted him to know.

I simply lied…again....that I had terminated it! He just said "ok" then later “leave me alone" and that was the last time I heard from him.

Lying cost me a story I thought I'd tell when I'm 42(in case I make it to 40 anyway)

Too bad it ended that way

Share your weakness, share your hard moments, share your real side.

It’ll either scare away every fake person in your life or it will inspire them to finally let go of that mirage called ’’perfection’’ which will open doors to the most important relationships you’ll ever be part of.

I'm not saying you shouldn't date your crush, didn’t work for me but it may work for you, who knows!

The author prefers to remain anonymous

thank you for sharing your story