DEAR 20 YEAR OLD...

Hayiiii🙈

Since we are not counting 2020 as we calculate our ages....let's stick to the"i am 25 years old" narrative, okay?😅

As I had promised yall a list of lessons or advice I'd give my 20 year old self...here I am

Honestly, I feel like my 19-25 age phase has been such a blur and reality has dawned on me . Let me not even get started!..( *premium* *tears*)

I'll do a list of 10
The rest we could do later, maybe?

Number 1 just has to be about FRIENDSHIPS
😅 when I was 19 in campus I was obsessing over having "my girls":my squad"..and all that BS.
I wish my 18 year old self knew that friendship on TV series and movies doesn't really exist in real life.😅
Making friends as you get older is HARD 🥺(mainly because we are in a global era and people are always moving because of jobs, school, relationships etc  and keeping up can be a TASK!)
I used to think that my circle of friends would remain tight and we'd get married around the same time..live in the same neighbourhood...our babies would be besties and all that BLURRRRR🥺🥺😅

Oh, and friendship breakups hurt just like romantic ones. And not every friend is your homie who will be there forever. Accept and move past friendships that drain you or make you feel like yo trying too hard to keep up or fit in. You are enough🙂

Work towards building rapports.
Have good relations with new people..build networks and be reliable..have acquaintances. ..people you can rely on and can rely on you.  Your future opportunities will most likely blossom from the rapport you maintained throughout..you don't have to be besties..please

To my 18 year old self- it's okay and very normal to not have 10 friends...


The second one had to be about sex and birth control

People romanticize casual sex and give it fancy names like" fling" "friends with benefits(fwb)" and all those others that you prefer 😅
Casual intimacy often leads to ALOT of pain . Well unless you're excellently good at controlling your emotions

Birth control should be your choice, not his. I encountered friends on it who always said" he doesn't like using protection:, he said...he doesn't..yada yada yada.
Birth control has so many side effects that are not pleasant at all and so before you even get to settle on one you test a couple and settle on the one that works best for you
All that hassle to make a man comfortable?
Someone who has close to zero chances of being in your forrrrRVERRRR🙄🙄🤷‍♀️ 🤔?I don't think so
Make it a personal choice on when to get it...and when to remove it



The third one's got to be about your MONEY

My 18 year old had so much money at her disposal. Mistake I made was thinking that it would always be there.
At 18 or 20, learn everything you need to know about your money

Skip lunch and save up that money for trips to watamu or lake naivasha or dundas with your friends

Save part of your pocket money for later investments...well I don't know who told me that I have to know a plan or a business in mind to save for..

Well I'd say you don't have to know what you are saving for .just set aside that money....maybe in a sacco...it will come handy when you are older and need to make huge investment risks

opportunities come to those who are ready.  Let that opportunity come and get you with part of the capital you need for that venture.

Learn learn learn....watch YouTube videos..read books...travel...interact with people..have fun...take risks..go on dates with rich people, middle class,older people,people your age,...solo dates...experience life..experience people experience experience experience everything you can..try Chinese food...Italian food...everything..experience it all

Take etiquette classes on youtube and go on dates to practice .
Just maximize your teenage and early 20 years.

Create memories ❤️
Invest in yourself...learn the basics of a new language on youtube or use DUOlingo app. Learn how to budget..learn how to dress your body...aim at knowing yourself really really well.

I'd tell my 20 year old self- everything will be okay. It's okay for your dreams ans aspirations to change, your beliefs..your goals
It's a transition phase and everything will fall into place....just try everything your heart desires..you'll finally get clarity and decide or know what you really want.


The fourth has to be about peer pressure

My 20, 25 and 40 year old self needs to understand that the socials around peer pressure changes its shape and form overtime.  Learn and get used to saying NO. It helps keep off anxiety  and unnecessary spending of time.. money..your energy and alot of other things

Just adjust...we don't have total control of our lives..what matters is how fast we embrace, adjust and give the best to our new realities🙂


The fifth is about SUCCESS
Success is relative. There is no standard measure for success.
Know yourself so well...know what matters most to you and define what success means to you

Someone's definition could be a fleet of big cars, several big homes,top executive position in a top ranked firm

To someone else it could be owning a huge ranch full of horses, a beautiful family and a good reputation

To someone else it could be having millions in their bank account

To others it could be owning several charity organisations and winning a Nobel prize

It varies....and it's relative
And for all the above..they consider themselves successful!


Understand what success means to you then work towards it

If you do.....life will be happier and abit more fulfilling and easier because you won't succumb to the social pressures of the imaginary standards of measuring success

Please 20 year old self....understand yourself so well...know what matters most to you and it's okay to adjust it with time

It's your life and you are the author

Well guys, it's 9am and I have a pile of reports I have to submit by 2pm

I guess we'll continue with this another time...yah?

Feel free to agree or disagree with me in the comment section

Have a productive day❤️

Sincerely Jojo