DEAR 20 YEAR OLD...

Hayiiii🙈

Since we are not counting 2020 as we calculate our ages....let's stick to the"i am 25 years old" narrative, okay?😅

As I had promised yall a list of lessons or advice I'd give my 20 year old self...here I am

Honestly, I feel like my 19-25 age phase has been such a blur and reality has dawned on me . Let me not even get started!..( *premium* *tears*)

I'll do a list of 10
The rest we could do later, maybe?

Number 1 just has to be about FRIENDSHIPS
😅 when I was 19 in campus I was obsessing over having "my girls":my squad"..and all that BS.
I wish my 18 year old self knew that friendship on TV series and movies doesn't really exist in real life.😅
Making friends as you get older is HARD 🥺(mainly because we are in a global era and people are always moving because of jobs, school, relationships etc  and keeping up can be a TASK!)
I used to think that my circle of friends would remain tight and we'd get married around the same time..live in the same neighbourhood...our babies would be besties and all that BLURRRRR🥺🥺😅

Oh, and friendship breakups hurt just like romantic ones. And not every friend is your homie who will be there forever. Accept and move past friendships that drain you or make you feel like yo trying too hard to keep up or fit in. You are enough🙂

Work towards building rapports.
Have good relations with new people..build networks and be reliable..have acquaintances. ..people you can rely on and can rely on you.  Your future opportunities will most likely blossom from the rapport you maintained throughout..you don't have to be besties..please

To my 18 year old self- it's okay and very normal to not have 10 friends...


The second one had to be about sex and birth control

People romanticize casual sex and give it fancy names like" fling" "friends with benefits(fwb)" and all those others that you prefer 😅
Casual intimacy often leads to ALOT of pain . Well unless you're excellently good at controlling your emotions

Birth control should be your choice, not his. I encountered friends on it who always said" he doesn't like using protection:, he said...he doesn't..yada yada yada.
Birth control has so many side effects that are not pleasant at all and so before you even get to settle on one you test a couple and settle on the one that works best for you
All that hassle to make a man comfortable?
Someone who has close to zero chances of being in your forrrrRVERRRR🙄🙄🤷‍♀️ 🤔?I don't think so
Make it a personal choice on when to get it...and when to remove it



The third one's got to be about your MONEY

My 18 year old had so much money at her disposal. Mistake I made was thinking that it would always be there.
At 18 or 20, learn everything you need to know about your money

Skip lunch and save up that money for trips to watamu or lake naivasha or dundas with your friends

Save part of your pocket money for later investments...well I don't know who told me that I have to know a plan or a business in mind to save for..

Well I'd say you don't have to know what you are saving for .just set aside that money....maybe in a sacco...it will come handy when you are older and need to make huge investment risks

opportunities come to those who are ready.  Let that opportunity come and get you with part of the capital you need for that venture.

Learn learn learn....watch YouTube videos..read books...travel...interact with people..have fun...take risks..go on dates with rich people, middle class,older people,people your age,...solo dates...experience life..experience people experience experience experience everything you can..try Chinese food...Italian food...everything..experience it all

Take etiquette classes on youtube and go on dates to practice .
Just maximize your teenage and early 20 years.

Create memories ❤️
Invest in yourself...learn the basics of a new language on youtube or use DUOlingo app. Learn how to budget..learn how to dress your body...aim at knowing yourself really really well.

I'd tell my 20 year old self- everything will be okay. It's okay for your dreams ans aspirations to change, your beliefs..your goals
It's a transition phase and everything will fall into place....just try everything your heart desires..you'll finally get clarity and decide or know what you really want.


The fourth has to be about peer pressure

My 20, 25 and 40 year old self needs to understand that the socials around peer pressure changes its shape and form overtime.  Learn and get used to saying NO. It helps keep off anxiety  and unnecessary spending of time.. money..your energy and alot of other things

Just adjust...we don't have total control of our lives..what matters is how fast we embrace, adjust and give the best to our new realities🙂


The fifth is about SUCCESS
Success is relative. There is no standard measure for success.
Know yourself so well...know what matters most to you and define what success means to you

Someone's definition could be a fleet of big cars, several big homes,top executive position in a top ranked firm

To someone else it could be owning a huge ranch full of horses, a beautiful family and a good reputation

To someone else it could be having millions in their bank account

To others it could be owning several charity organisations and winning a Nobel prize

It varies....and it's relative
And for all the above..they consider themselves successful!


Understand what success means to you then work towards it

If you do.....life will be happier and abit more fulfilling and easier because you won't succumb to the social pressures of the imaginary standards of measuring success

Please 20 year old self....understand yourself so well...know what matters most to you and it's okay to adjust it with time

It's your life and you are the author

Well guys, it's 9am and I have a pile of reports I have to submit by 2pm

I guess we'll continue with this another time...yah?

Feel free to agree or disagree with me in the comment section

Have a productive day❤️

Sincerely Jojo

We need to be more intentional with our friendships and what we consume on social media/google

Hayiiiiiiiiiiiiiii😅

At this point I'm not even going to pretend ati I'm apologising for going MIA on ya'll

Been out here adulting 😅 and doing things grown people do

If there's a year I will forever remember, its 2020

Not ati because of the pandemic and all the craziness going on

2020 has been my "WAKE UP" year to say the least

As at January 1st 2020 I had no resolutions but by March I had drawn my vision board, something I had always heard about  but really didn't take much interest in

I am becoming more intentional with my time and who I follow on social media, generally what I feed myself interms of relationships and content i consume

Well let me not bore you with my shenanigans and all that jazz.

If you know me well, you know how obsessed i am with self development and being better than i was and knowing as much as i can. You'd literally ask me something i know nothing about and I'll google or write it down to go enlighten myself on it

I guess that's just how my mother taught me.

From when I was a child, mom would insist on us doing homework on our own BUT offer to help only  IF you get stuck .
Even in high school when my maths and chemistry grades were As but CRE was Ds she would insist on a change of attitude by reporting to Mrs Bakari's office everyday just to smile and say hi or maybe ask a question to seek clarity..(🙄Mom)."work on your attitude and you will be surprised. But if that doesn't work,we will see what to do"

This is her
A loud advocate for seeking clarity and a second opinion. But you can only seek an opinion when you've already equipped yourself with some knowledge on whatever subject it is, right?

This has transitioned into my adult life in a positive way. I like to have information about things and subjects and topics....but if the internet information is too ambiguous for me,I consult!

My mom, friends,friends of friends...but mostly my mom.


Most people always think she makes decisions for me which is not true btw..I just REALLY VALUE her opinion because🤷‍♀️she's my mom ,friend, big sister
And then she is 90% of everything I want to be and more...and then she talks from a point of experience and wisdom..


We live in a digital era when most information is just a click away. We literally have no excuse ( well, unless you have no data or steady network)....

Everyday we learn...it never ends.
So whether you want to improve on your etiquette, or general grooming,or learn a new language or how to speak eloquently or better or anything really....click!


Of late I've been obsessed with videos on youtube about lessons people learnt in their twenties and early thirties .(I like to be prepared 😀) I've been fascinated!


The bottom line for most has been to get an understanding of what money is, planning for it and just decisions revolving around it, being disciplined, how to be a better communicator, literally everything 😀

I'm 4 years away from getting to the 3rd floor and I hope by then I will be proud of these steps I have taken so far in 2020

What has this year been like for you so far?

Are your goals and aspirations changing?

What are you most proud of so far?

What advice would you give your younger self ?

What are you working on bettering about yourself?

In my next article I will tell you guys my lessons so far plus a combination of the ones I have related with from the videos I've watched.

Please use your social media, Google and the human resource around you wisely and work towards being more intentional in everything you do...

AND

Always be kind❤️

This is my world

Sincerely_Jojo💋

IT'S OKAY

Hey Chica family 🤓
Okay that doesn't sound as cool as I thought it would

Anyways....
How have ya'll been?

It's been a while
I almost feel like I'm always giving you teasers then going MIA

😀 honestly, I'm a M.E.S.S!

Been trying to put myself together for a while now. Thing is:...I have all the information I need.

Trust me, I'm a good student and I keep quality handwritten notes

What I find confusing is the fact that I don't know where to start from

Kind of feels like I'm tripping sometimes...but that's life. Right?

One minute we are sooo, okay and composed and sooo over what used to make us overthink and cry ourselves to sleep then the next second you are ten steps backwards and you have nobody to talk to because everyone thinks you are happy and composed and close to perfect...you almost look and sound ungrateful  when you confide in someone so you choose to just hibernate and figure it all out on your own🥺

See.... nothing prepares us for life more than life itself

And every time you find yourself stumbling..as hurtful and hard as it always feels, you have to take a breather, get back on your feet and do what you got to do.

It's easy to admire people around us or on social media who have so many friends or people to be there for them....

Take a detour...take a break if you need to, However long

Spend time with yourself and intentionally listen

You are waay stronger, braver, smarter and more deserving than you think

Incase you are having it rough and have nobody to talk to, be your own sunshine...cheer up and be your greatest supporter on your team

You will be okay....tough times don't last.

I would dedicate my favourite jam right now but I'll sound cheesy😒

I love you ❤️

Send me a mail( josphinegundo@gmail.com)if you need someone to talk to


This is my world

Call me Chica❤️

WOULD YOU CONSIDER?

Hold up🤭
Mind some TEA?

Hayiiiiiiiìiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii🙈...

The greeting is long because I'm afraid after tonight you may hate me and probably never come back to my blog again😄

Or maybe I will blow your mind and you will continue loving me...cause you do anyways👅....
😄
My fingers are crossed at this point
Sooooooo
All my life I've always felt some type of way about this second wife/ sidechic conversation until recently  when......well, never mind😄

Of course some of us grew up with the evil step mom and would never ever consider being the other wife...probably because of the experiences they had- I understand

The other group belongs to the "I can't share"😄...well, I have no comment on this, honestly 😄

Wengine ilhali...(is that correct?😄) are in for it because they think it comes with less reaponsibilities and woevaa🙄

Others want to be the QUEEN Kunta of his heart and look for his weakness so as to win him over


Whatever your school of thought is..... don't sweat it sis😄

Honestly,  just work on your SELF
be the best version of you that can ever be

A good man will find you at the right time and you will just know

The mistake most of us make is having expectations and building the man we want in our head before we actually meet him....tall(is relative btw), rich, yada yada yada😄😄...wotevsss🙄

What I'm saying is...when you are your best possible self....a good man will come....he may be widowed, divorced, single, married( and genuinely seeking another wife), with kids....whatever package he comes in babes.....as long as his intentions are pure and he genuinely gives several effs about you.....don't overthink it sis

Miss Buns(mì ladiè in white)said
“A good man will come. His package( the divorced,married,single) part is just an accessory and I think it’s us women who influence how a man will act..A man will neglect his first family because the second wife allows it”

God will take care of you...well this sounds sad😄
I’ve learnt that we need to TRUST ourselves so much that other people’s opinion on the decisions we make and the consequences that they come with will have very little or no effect on us...
Validate your decision to yourself . And at the end of the day everybody has their reasons for wanting to be who ever and whatever they choose to . We are in the 21st century anyways and we need not to base our opinions/feelings/decisions on the society.

You get what I mean...right?😄😄😂

Aaaaah,....


Just call me Chica!

DAD

They say a father is a girl's first love and a boys first example

But...wait!...who are they?🤔

Anyways, however true or false this statement is depends on you, honestly 😄

I want to talk about mine. What I believe in

Yes... every child needs love and leadership by example from both parents

And yes, it's true every girl is attracted to the kind of man her father is....atleast what feels farmiliar

Boys on the other hand believe in what daddy did or said because he knows best, right?

This could be for the BEST and very helpful and healthy when DADDY was a good example of what a man is and what it means to be a good man as a father, husband, and every other father responsibility

You are probably wondering what my definition of a man is😄....honestly, just let me believe what I think he should be....
Lemme ask you.....what comes to your mind when I say" my man?"🤔
Huh?
Yes...that!....that's my definition 😂😂😂, hoping we belong to the same or almost similar schools of thought🥴

It's common to hear men claim that it's not okay to hit women but it depends on what she did to trigger him
Or women saying my dad used to hit my mom and I grew up thinking that was okay

That's on the toxic side

On the other hand....its also common to hear women say there are no good men available these days...
Did daddy set standards too high and you are out here looking for him in the 21st century dating scene?
Who knows🤷🏿‍♀‍?

Some men however are the perfect description of what you want but .....the social BUTS they come with are overwhelming 😄

All I'm saying is, sometimes...most times we need to do a self reflection and get to understand ourselves at a deeper level

Get answers to why you behave/react or do the things you do the way you do...what triggers you and why. Is there a pattern in my decisions...are they beneficial? What can I do to make them better? Do I need help?

You know... some of our parents invested in our education so that we break the cycles and get to understand the things they could not
As much as we want to criticize the 8-4-4 system of education, look at the positive side of it,atleast.

Personally, I met the most incredibly diverse people, I developed some characters that have helped me survive through this life...at least my introvert self has a cycle to mention
We don't only go to school to pick a  career...there are people who we would not have known had it not been for school, right?
Same to getting to deeply understand ourselves and how our past affects our thoughts, actions and everything in between

During this quarantine period I hope that we mend the dad relationships we feel not so good about but if we can't I hope we find the strength to let go
And if you're in a happy one...I hope you thrive in it and appreciate it
May everyone around us see a positive difference and improvement in every aspect of our lives. May we stop the excuses of “I grew up like that, that’s just me" . May we learn to love ourselves and break the cycles. May we outgrow the excuses and bad habits...
May we get back to ME and really get you peace of mind and calmness and a sobber reaction and thought process. May we come out of this a beautiful and graceful work in progress.
To all the men....please be good dads and examples.  It has a lifetime lasting Impact on generations
To our dads watching us from above, thank you for the memories you left us with . May we make you proud of us everyday
And to the ones we never met...we wish you well❤🤷🏿‍♀️. Que sera, sera

Always remember to have good intentions in everything you do

This is my world

Call me Chica!

BEDTIME THOUGHTS😊

Its 1:05 am....oh, hi there?!😂

I’m so embarrassed, it’s been a while. Can we just be glad I'm here,please.

Wait...it’s only 10pm
Usually, I'm always in bed by now.. with my loud thoughts...I cannot even focus on sleeping on most nights☹️

Honestly if you ask me what I’m specifically thinking about,  I have no idea
My thoughts are always racing from what I ate all day...to what I will eat kesho...and what ifs...and what nots😁😂
This pandemic covid-19 has made people come up with so many theories and quotes and every possible thing I have not been thinking of

Sometimes I try to distract myself from the real world which basically  revolves around eating, sleeping, reading my novels and doing house chores...well, chatting and catching up with my boyfriend and a few friends and of course story time with the fam

This life is interesting...sometimes
Well ,other times like now...I'm always thinking about my life before this Corona hit☹️
I honestly feel like I was not really living my life the way I've always wanted to and I cannot wait to get back to the routine I was used to (with some changes here and there)
It was kind of a wake up call for me, I can say

Maybe we really needed this to reflect back on what's really important to us
Maybe we needed to get back into our thoughts and restructure our lives into who we really are and want to be

Or maybe we just needed a break!

Whatever this season has brought to you...I hope you find the sunlight..but if you cannot find the sun...be the sunshine you  need.

Remember to sanitize, wash your hands and stay safe❤
Meanwhile;
Always remember to have good intentions un everything you do

This is my world

Call me Chica!

BE KIND🌺

Today, on my way to work as I was scrolling through WhatsApp statuses I bumped into this meme

( 😂😂😂😂I’ve ALWAYS wanted to use the “work" cliché 😁😂😂😂🤣)scratch that
I felt an urge to rant yaaani😂😂😂, y’all know how good I am at that😋
BUUUT
Maybe I'm just bitter, or maybe I’m just tired of the judgement
Our society is so disgustingly judgmental, but why though
This statement is so cliché because we are the society…you and I
I feel like everyone everywhere is preaching self worth and self love when deep down all we are crying for is validation and just a little consideration, just maybe. Can we just all go for therapy?😣😔
We live in an era where a woman’s wifely potential is measured by her endurance to bullshit and poverty and probably settling for less or dressing a certain way
I am an advocate of two sides of a coin and probably a consideration of the thickness of a coin
For the 24 years I’ve been alive, I’ve learnt to give people chances and be a little more considerate. And in this context, toxic second chances are out!
 What I mean is the next time you spot a girl dressed in an  overly tiny dressing, give her a chance. Don’t be throwing glances and making her look and feel all stupid for you don't know the demons she’s dealing with. Maybe she grew up in an environment where she was ALWAYS sidelined and felt not important. Maybe her subconscious just needs attention and that dress gives her exactly that and in that moment she feels most alive…and happy,at least
Maybe the lady who prefers richer people watched a loved one die right in their face just because they could not afford better medical care, maybe even just the transportation to the medical Care center itself. Or maybe her childhood was filled with nights of hunger and horrrible experiences that drive them to NEVER go back to that life again
Whether you prefer to cash on your hymen, or lead a two faced life or prefer the to dress in diras or like your men older or younger or prefer women to men and vice versa, you matter and so does the other person you are staring at and making them look and feel less just because…
Maybe the lady/guy who has sex with a new person every weekend is just crying for validation or looking for something
Maybe the lady who never puts on anything else other than her signature look has her reasons
The unsolicited advice we give to young mothers about parenting
Next time, before you pass on a judgemental statement, be considerate
Life is tough already and everyday is a learning day. Cut everyone some slack and mind your own, abi!😂😂😂 e no be difficult😁😁
Point is, everybody has their own silent battles that keep them awake late at night and give them bitter tears. Be careful not to be someone else’s reasons for tearing up
I'm not saying that other people's problems are more special than others
We all need just a little more consideration and a little less judgement
Whatever your reason is…be it psychological ,or just peer pressure, or just following trends, or just trying to fit in……the first step to developing a thick skin towards the societal judgement is knowing, understanding and being aware of our actions and being a work in progress to fix our demons and being better human beings
Just the other day, Thursday last week to be precise, the guest pastor at my church’s camp meeting talked to us about judging others. He put it in a very simple way..APPROACH
We are all wrong at one point but HOW we are corrected is al that counts
Someone could be having the best intentions but the APPROACH either destroys or makes the whole situation friendly or hostile
Just because you sin differently doesn't give you the right to judge someone else
There was this specific guy in our bible study group who seemed soo uncomfortable with the topic of money . I could fight him,honestly 😁😁😁😁. He made me feel like I’m in the wrong career.. I should have been a lawyer yoh😁😂😂😂😅.the way I articulated my facts😁..wuuueeeeh! I surprised myself
Before I turn this into a sermon, let me conclude by saying, in a world where you can be anything- be kind
It’s not even expensive btw😉
And the best part of it is that….it ALWAYS ALWAYS comes back to you. ALWAYS!

This is my world!

Call me Chica😎